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| August 31, 2006
August 29, 2006
For the Record...
You know, Justin, I'd also like to bring sexy back. But I have a bad knee, and sexy is much heavier than you'd think. Carry on. August 25, 2006
Escapes?
"Go to Penn Quarter, a vibrant Washington neighborhood, for Zaytinya (701 Ninth Street NW, 202-638-0800) a Mediterranean tapas restaurant, that serves fresh Middle Eastern plates in a bustling setting of candles and soaring ceilings. 'It feels like New York,' a friend said at dinner one recent night. Precisely." I'm going to quote one of my former writing workshop instructors here. "If I ever write a line like that, someone please shoot me in the fucking head." August 24, 2006
Guess the Whacko!
"that lie we have been told, the separation of church and state, people have internalized, thinking that they needed to avoid politics and that is so wrong because God is the one who chooses our rulers" No Googling!
News Corp. Can't Find Nation's Capital
While perusing my latest issue of TV Guide (I read it for the pictures) I came across an ad for the new craptacular myNetworkTV. It seems those stations that were UPN that aren't converting to the CW are becoming some other entity in the Rupert Murdoch plan for world domination. It's all too confusing to me. I've heard from wise narcissist in California that the ridiculously silly name is a play on the name of News Corp.'s very own tween dream mySpace. myVerdict? Lame. On the page opposite the botoxed visages of Bo Derek and Morgan Fairchild (I think we now know where all of Saddam's biological weapons went) is a box letting everyone know "Where to Watch" this new network. I wanted to double check that Channel 20 was indeed going to be the new home for sucky programming.  Doesn't anyone know where Washington, D.C. is? August 23, 2006
The Best Thing Steve Winwood Ever Did
Perhaps my favorite thing in the world is a good parody. So it should come as little surprise that I've spent some time recently checking some out on YouTube--specifically parodies of the video for Eric Prydz's "Call on Me." I've collected a few, including one from my alma mater's own sketch comedy group, for your enjoyment. There's something about this video that inspires people to make complete asses of themselves. I suppose nothing says comedy like ripped shirts, legwarmers, and pelvic thrusts. The fact that some of these guys are cute has absolutely nothing to do with my interest. They say you never forget your first love. And that's certainly the case with Call on Me parodies. The first one I saw, and still the best ever, was from the Naval Academy. Again, cuteness is not a factor. Not at all. Nope. August 22, 2006
An Open Letter to the People Behind TenTenMass
Dear TenTenMass Luxury Condo Pimps, I'm sure you think this logo of yours is supernifty.  I'm not sure if you ever learned your Roman numerals, but that's not 1010. That's 20. Maybe you can argue that the Xs aren't in line, but I'm not buying it. I'm pretty sure I couldn't afford it anyway. xoxo, Chris p.s. A "stroll" to Dupont Circle is a bit of a stretch, don'tcha think?
An Open Letter to the Washington Post
Dear WaPo, So, you're going to endorse someone for mayor soon. Just between you and me, it totally should be Marie Johns. DC needs a leader who actually comes up with ideas not someone who's spent the better part of his or her career standing in the way of things without offering a viable alternative. xoxo, Chrisafer p.s. On a totally unrelated note, as we passed a yard sign for a certain other candidate, my surprisingly vicious partner asked, "If she becomes mayor, will she have doughnuts on her utlity belt?" August 18, 2006
Pulling for Johns
A few days ago I put up a little plug on my sidebar for Marie Johns. She's running for the Mayor of DC. The Democratic Primary is less than a month away, and, since DC is the bluest of the blue (that man only getting 9% of the vote in 2004), whoever wins will almost certainly be our next mayor. Lately a lot of people have asked me who I was supporting and why. Let's start with why I like Marie Johns. Of all the candidates, she comes across as the most real. She's run a major company and has decades of leadership experience. She articulates the problems of the city more clearly to me than any of the other candidates. She offers pragmatic, but optimistic, solutions. She is a woman I trust. I cannot say that about most of the others. I'm a very intuitive person. I get a "feeling" about people pretty soon after interacting with them. Most of the time, I'm dead on. I believe this, coupled with my dumb luck, is why those whom I'm closest to have proven to be such incredible people. I get nothing but good vibes from Marie Johns. Probably because she hasn't been a politician for most of her life, unlike her opponents. As for her opponents, I don't hate Adrian Fenty. I believe there are a lot questions about his motivations. I wonder why he is so scared to debate the issues on anyone's but his terms. I wonder why he keeps a man who seems so divisive on his campaign staff. I wonder too much to feel that I can vote for him, but not enough to despise him. That, I've saved for the other two major candidates. Linda Cropp and Vincent Orange. I don't trust Linda Cropp any further than I could throw her. My acrimony towards her was cemented when she appeared at this bullshit rally. She's a politician who sticks her finger in the air and tests the winds to make decisions. I cannot support her. I'll vote for a Republican over her (yes, even skort-wearing, tobacco-loving Carol Schwartz). The only thing that irritated me more than Cropp during this whole campaign was Vincent Orange's gem of a quote that the other candidates aren't "morally fit" to run the city because they support rights for same-sex couples. Just shut the hell up. We do not need anyone playing off the divisiveness that already exists in DC between black and white or straight and gay. Let me make it clear, though. I'm voting for Marie Johns. Not against Fenty, Cropp, and Orange. She is exactly the kind of boss I would want to work for--fair, involved, even-tempered, and inspirational. I just hope that people stop looking at this as a two-person race soon.
I Watch Too Much TV
Whenever I see the Head On commercial, I really hope its makers come up with an anti-hemorrhoid cream. "'Roid Off--apply directly to the asshole. 'Roid Off--apply directly to the asshole. 'Roid Off--apply directly to the asshole." It's the little things in life that make it worth living. August 16, 2006
Did Someone Put Acid in My Pizza?
Ever wake up from a series of dreams and really wonder if you're either a.) going completely batshit crazy or b.) under the influence of some serious hallucinogens? I have just (barely) gotten out of bed. Okay, I reached over for a laptop and am still in bed. So here's my dream. I was talking with my friend Paul in Los Angeles. He was showing me pictures of him and some friends on a 90210 tour--they'd gone to West Beverly, the Peach Pit (and Peach Pit After Dark), and the courthouse where everyone chanted "Donna Martin Graduates!" They all had t-shirts with one cast member on them. Paul was Tori. Then I noticed that Paul and I were sitting on the ground at a carnival. A three-headed dog came out. Paul was watching it (them?) for his friend who was on vacation. It wasn't a three-headed dog like Cerberus, though. It had one head on its front and then, instead of a tail, two heads stacked on top of each other on its back. Of course front and back are relative terms. Each head was of a different breed, however, and the one I call front matched the body so I feel secure in saying such. Later or earlier in the dream, I was at a dj night with CT. We were with someone else whom I don't recall. The music was good and we danced and had fun, but it was time to go. As we were leaving, Chris's friend was trying to start a fight with someone at the door. I had to go to the bathroom. The fighter with Chris started pushing a smaller kid. Smaller kid's bigger friend started pushing Chris's friend. A kid I'd never met before but knew from the Internet because he and I have similar tastes in music came up to me and said hi. I wanted to stay longer and talk to him because he was very charming in real life, but between having to use the bathroom and the brewing fight, I had to leave the dancefloor. In the bathroom, I couldn't get my zipper open for an eternity. After doing my business, I needed to get my coat from coatcheck. The coatcheck room also sold cardigan sweaters with the club's name on them (premonition that they will be in this fall?). I was trying some on. Jimbo was there and helping me. Everytime I tried one on, though, the coatcheck girl came and took it away and gave me a ticket for it. I kept trying to explain that I was just trying them on, that they weren't my sweaters. She was very sweet, but kept doing it anyway. I may need to lay off the pepperoni before bed time. August 11, 2006
I'm not a cat lady!!!
We recently learned that Sebastian and Molly are almost certainly Maine Coon Cats. This makes them wonderful cuddle substitutes when your partner is out of town on business. Also? The fact that I can't get "supergroup" Cobra Starship's Snakes on a Plane (Bring It) out of my head for one hot second just proves what those behind Hej Hej must know well--the ratio of indie pop goodness is directly proportional to the Scandanavianness of your song. August 10, 2006
First Crushes
Doug McKeon Jason Bateman King Ad-Rock It really should have been obvious from the get go that I was going to have a thing for dorky blonds, smartasses, and the Chosen People. And let's not forget, of course, the Fonz. I still don't understand that one. August 08, 2006
Monster Cartographer Eschews Straight Lines
I've been confused by something for a while now. Whenever I log into Monster, I see this on my screen:  I never quite got what that patch of beige was. Then it occurred to me that the talented staff of Monster might think that's what DC actually looks like. Could that be their feeble attempt at a map? To investigate, I looked at the page for a state whose shape I know very well.  Now, aside from the fact that PG County seems to have eaten all of Southern Maryland (even "ghetto" Waldorf), that's roughly what Maryland looks like. I've looked at a number of historical and current maps of DC. None look like a big beige blob. What gives, Monster? Addendum: As I look at those two maps together, it becomes clear that the map of the District of Columbia they've drawn looks an awful lot like the portion of their Maryland map that is the planned community of Columbia in Howard County, Maryland. They couldn't be that stupid, could they?
Cars Ride by with the Boomin' Systems
Last night I did something I rarely ever do. Drive. It might sound strange to folks who spend hours each day in their car, but I have become a public transportation/walking/biking fiend over the last few years. I think I drive less about twice a month on average. It's rather nice, actually. But last night, as I drove out to Silver Spring to pick up Nats tickets from some friends, I remembered how nice it can be to crank up the stereo and cruise through tree-lined streets with the windows down on a summer night. Who knew I'd get nostalgic for 2 Hype Brothers & A Dog? August 07, 2006
Clogged
This weekend at a gathering of friends, talk turned to adult content on the Internet. Shocking, I know. It was then, after learning about YouTube-like porn sites such as XTube and PornoTube, that I began to wonder if Ted Stevens wasn't onto something.
Jobs I'd Take Right Now Over My Current Position
5. Katherine Harris's Make-up Artist 4. Mel Gibson's Semite Relations Specialist 3. Barney Frank's Back Waxer 2. Anna Wintour's Male Prostitute 1. Kate Moss's Coke Mule August 03, 2006
News from Two Months Ago
 How on earth did I miss this gem from the Reliable Source gossip column in the WaPo'He doesn't socialize. He's very real, like, he's from a pretty ghetto place in Maryland. . . . I like that.' -- Teen starlet Hilary Duff, describing her boyfriend of two years, Good Charlotte lead singer Joel Madden, a native of Waldorf, in the July issue of Elle magazine. Um. Waldorf is ghetto? Has she been to PG County? August 01, 2006
Office Romance
It occurred to me this morning that when I was so happy to see that I was now myspace friends with Pam/Jenna that my love of The Office is starting to get a little out of hand. I have socially networked with a character and the actress who plays her. One I have never met, the other is a work of fiction. We live in strange times. Also, I got a new iPod for my birthday (thanks Glenn and his parents!). I loaded "Casino Night," The Office's second season finale on it. Because I really need to be able to see Jim's smirk on my bus ride. Any guesses on how long until I buy a Dwight Schrute Bobblehead? |
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