February 27, 2006
Walk for Me
If I had to name the best moments of television of the last year, it would extremely easy for me to sum it up in one word.
Or is that two words? Maybe a hyphen? Whatevs.
Like many people I spoke with this weekend, if my television was on, it was on Bravo. It's a Project Runway marathon, y'all. While there are more good scenes in this series than in just about any show on television, the walkoff scene is hands down my favorite.
There are three things about this scene that make it work:
1.) Heidi's Reaction: As always, Mama Klum looks stunning in her sleeveless turtleneck with her hair pulled back (and her signature clover jewelry). When Zulema/Shatangi declares that she would like to see a walkoff between models Danielle, Tarah, and Shannon, we cut to Heidi for a reaction. Her lips purse, her eyebrows raise, and there's a quick cock of her head. I love our Tuetonic hostess.
2.) Andrae's Reaction: Sure, it's almost a cliche at this point to talk about his (over)reactions, but the look on his face as the drama unfolds inspires a fit of pure, unadulterated giggletry in me. A medical professional might be concerned that Andrae's constantly popping eyeballs are a symptom of a possible thyroid condition. In truth, he's just rull, rull gay.
3.) Daniel V.'s Interview Comment: Capturing the silliness and intensity of the moment with a sparkle in his eyes, Daniel states, "It's a mother[bleep]in' walkoff!" To misappropriate a term wiser men have coined, I heart this skindierock boy. And I'm not alone. He's by far the nicest contestant, and his designs, while somewhat tame, have been consistently good. Also? I kind of like when he has that ultragay samurai-style ponytail on the top of his head. Too bad he's not going to win.
In honor of this, the best moment on television in recent memory, I present an mp3 (for a limited time only) for your pleasure.
February 23, 2006
Missed Connection as Viral Marketing?
While perusing Missed Connections on Craigslist to see what reindeer games my friends are playing, I came across the following: Missed Connection with my fast - m4m
Reply to: email@example.com
What, you may ask, is one's "fast"?
"Fast" is the new Farfegnugen.
The campaign is the brainchild of the people at Crispin Porter + Bogusky, who also came up with the creepy bigheaded Burger King man. (On a personal note, if you are not Ted Leo and you use "+" instead of "&" in your title, I will think you're pretentious. I'm sure that bothers you greatly.) One's "fast" according to these Volkswagen commercials is this tiny black metallic thing that makes you do evil things like ignore your significant other. I think in our house that's what the x Box does.
Either someone in DC is really bored or marketers on behalf of VW are using Craigslist's Missed Connections to pimp their product. Of course, by even mentioning this, I'm only adding fuel to the fire and encouraging more to do this. I can't hardly wait for the Brawny Man's Big Muscle Bears profile.
Glenn and I have soft-spots for two of the actors featured in the VW Fast campaign, however, so I'll play along. They can't be all bad if they're giving work to Hank Harris (best known as Emory Dick on the WB's Popular and the title character in Pumpkin) and Derek Carter (of Oxygen's Campus Ladies, a show that if you're not watching, you should).
February 22, 2006
Currently Befuddling Me
At brunch this weekend, learning that my entire family seems to be devoted fans of The L Word
The movie Elephant.
Linda Cropp being the Chairman of the DC City Council
The Paris Hilton vs. Mischa Barton Feud
Jake Gylenhaal giving his digits to Mischa Barton at a BAFTA afterparty
The difference between Ice Dancing and Ice Skating
When using this service would ever save me more time than just waiting for the next train
Middle-aged women who talk to each other in babytalk voices
How long until mutant chicken teeth are found in McNuggets
February 15, 2006
An Open Letter to Julianne Moore
Hey. Hope things are going well for you. I just wanted to jot off a quick note to you. I've seen the previews for Freedomland. I'm sure it's good and all, but...well...I'm really kind of sick of seeing you playing the afflicted mother.
Loved you in The Hours. Totally fell for your performance in Boogie Nights. I didn't see The Forgotten because it looked sort of silly--maybe it wasn't. Anyway, I think the only thing I remember seeing you in recently where you weren't so damn preoccupied with being a good mother was a Revlon commercial. Even then, I got the sense that, as you were applying the ColorStay® Under Eye Concealer, you were really wondering if your kids were getting enough vegetables.
I only say these things because I think you're an amazing actress. Maybe you could play someone who never had kids--and not in the "I feels so empty inside because I always wanted kids so even though I'm not a mother, the idea of motherhood still rules my life" way. Just a suggestion.
p.s. If you wanted to work with Samuel L. Jackson, it would have been much cooler if you'd gotten in on Snakes on a Plane. Come on. Who's gonna care about kids when you've gots snakes on a plane? Snakes! Snakes on a motherfuckin' plane!
February 14, 2006
February 10, 2006
Overheard in DC: Big Homo Edition
Boy: ...and the dress Nick made was awful. The hem was ragged. It was totally falling apart.
Voice in my head: That wasn't Nick's dress, you idiot. That was Daniel's. Of course I won't say anything because then you'll know I'm eavesdropping.
Girl: So that's why he got kicked off. Ohh.
Boy: But Santino put Kara in this tragic jumpsuit. It had a zipper all the way down to her "see you next Tuesday."
Girl: [giggling] Shut up!
--vicinity of Thomas Circle; Thursday, February 9; 7:00 pm
February 09, 2006
Fresh from proclaiming (again) "I'm not an idiot!," party girl/flasher Tara Reid may be making a return visit to the small screen for a new series that's not what you'd expect.
After E! pulled the plug her globe-trotting, tequila-slamming travel show Taradise, most of us thought the blonde would fade into obscurity, only to appear on VH1 pop-culture-recycling shows like Top 50 Embarrassing Red Carpet Moments or Best Boob Ever. Rumor has it, however, that Discovery's Military channel is in talks with Reid for a new reality show, tentatively entitled Taramilitary.
For the series, Reid would be plucked from the Hollywood party scene and shipped to Parris Island where she will undergo basic training to become a real-life G.I. Jane. Will Tara be able to withstand a grueling day of PT? How will her fellow grunts react to having a starlet in their midst? And what happens when she drinks her CO under the table? You'll have to tune in to find out.
Other ideas being pitched around town include a Sci-Fi series Taranormal, a pet psychic-like show on Animal Planet called Tarakeet, and a special for the Discovery Health Channel Taraplegic.
The lovely and talented CT informed me that I forgot some shows in the earlier stages of development:
Personally, I'm rooting for Taradox, the Game Show Network program where contestants compete for cash and prizes by trying to make sense of things she says.